@RdrJay47: What part of this $7.50 Wal Mart T-shirt makes you think I'd like to see the wine list?
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@rolldiggity: I bet other insects hate it when they ask a caterpillar how she became a butterfly, and she's all, "Just diet and exercise, guys!"
@Book_Krazy: Nick's coming over Nick from work, or Nick who thinks he's a scorpion? *Nick bursts through the door* HERE I AM, ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE
@SEvans_author: Boss: I'm sorry but you're fired Me: But I've poured my blood, sweat, & tears into my work! Boss: Exactly. Cupcake sales are down 75%
@neptunemoons: "Mom! Mom! Hold this cockroach while I grab the lizard!" --Things I honestly never imagined I'd hear as a parent