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@envydatropic: What personal space?
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I wish Bill Clinton would stop pointing his finger at everyone, Lord knows where that finger has been. #DNC #DirtyPoonTang
@travisauruss: MAN TO LIZARD: "SO I HEAR YOU'RE IN FLOORING SALES"
LIZARD: "IM MORE IN PROMOTION"
MAN: "WHAT DO YOU DO"
LIZARD: "I REP TILE"
@bobby: [neil degrasse tyson voice] the film is called Home Alone but thats actually a misnomer. in fact, kevin was joined in his home by 2 burglars
@DamienFahey: Please pray for my friends' 4-year-old. They found out today 7 minutes of his life wasn't photographed or videotaped and put on Facebook.
@SherBoBer: WebMD has a mobile app now. An app!!! A quick, easy and convenient way to diagnose yourself with cancer anywhere!