@Beatonm5: what sorcery is this? How does my VLC player know its christmas ????
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@brianbowman73: Her: My baby is 28 months old. Me: Oh really? I'm 74 inches tall. Not so fun when YOU have to do the math, is it?
@sarcasticmommy4: I hate it when I'm on twitter & there isn't a car behind me to honk when the light is green.
@freypalm: Me: [to cat] HEY! GET YOUR PAW OUTTA THAT FISH TANK, MISTER. Fish: [holding the cat’s paw] Ignore him—he’ll never understand love.