@Beatonm5: what sorcery is this? How does my VLC player know its christmas ????
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@lazerdoov: Dr. says I have an enlarged heart thanks doc I already know I'm super nice just trying to figure out why I can't breathe when I eat chips
@alyssawolff: *sees a woman struggling with a big suitcase up the stairs* Me: Need help with that? Her: Yeah! Me: *gives her a hug* You got this, girl.
@GypsyWingss: Mom: a little birdie told me you got drunk last night Me: you're the one friggen talking to birds