@Aspersioncast: What sort of tape measure does the guy from The Guinness Book of Records use to measure the worlds longest tape measure?
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@Fred_Delicious: [2 detectives are at a murder scene] "my god Wilkins. Are you thinking what im thinking?" ... "a lasagne driving a car?" "Exactly"
@E_Ville13: Nobody suspects that you're digging a grave when you're always working on your landscape.
@MarfSalvador: Reporter: Is it true you delivered a pig with TWO heads?! Farmer: Yes I did Farmer's second head: WE did