@mrjohntofu: What the world needs is a self help movie, cause lets face it, most of us won't buy the book.
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@CantWaitToNap: Never have I ever... rushed out of my house pretending I had to be somewhere & drove around neighborhood to get somebody to leave.
@KenJennings: Steal your neighbors' garden gnome. Send them a series of photos of the gnome lurking near various truck stop men's rooms.
@BigBagOfScum: All my Facebook friends are starting to have kids. Better deactivate my acct. before they try to guilt me into liking pics of their aliens.
@EndhooS: Cop: Are you drunk? Me: Could a drunk person do this? *I just piss my pants* Cop: WOW. Yes actually. Me: That was supposed to be a backflip