@mrjohntofu: What the world needs is a self help movie, cause lets face it, most of us won't buy the book.
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@BlindChow: (Ok don't let her know ur Jesus) Girl: Meet my dad *they shake hands* *Dad stands up from wheelchair* Dad: It's a miracle! Jesus: *facepalm*
@TheTweetOfGod: The real reason David beat Goliath is that when David threw a rock, Goliath threw scissors.
@clyderun: The ex hasn't moved out yet. To make her uncomfortable I left a new box of condoms out on the table. She retaliated with a pregnancy kit.