@mrjohntofu: What the world needs is a self help movie, cause lets face it, most of us won't buy the book.
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@SarcasticAlly12: My 5 yo after I explained the concept of breastfeeding: "can you squeeze Capri Suns outta those things or just milk?"
@NurseMurderer: I told my date I was depressed. I added, "not like cut my inner thigh depressed, but sleep with you even though I don't like you depressed."
@GrantTanaka: Sometimes I wonder if the ghost in my house thinks he's being haunted by some angry, naked, drunk guy.