@AndyAsAdjective: What they don't tell you about bathing in the blood of your enemies is your body hair is a light magenta for like the next 3 or 4 days. Ugh.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WonderMonkey78: I love it when all my iPhone apps tremble in fear when I'm about to delete one of them. Makes me feel like God.
@SaraMansford: A wine tasting? Where people SPIT OUT precious wine?! Sure, maybe we could go to the humane society and watch them put puppies to sleep too.
@Adar79Angie: *friend gets divorced Mon* *friend goes on date Tues* *I break up with boyfriend* *15 years later I casually smile back at a stranger*
@just1fool: Someday I'm gonna open a pawn shop and blow everyone's mind when I only sell rooks, bishops and knights.