@AndyAsAdjective: What they don't tell you about bathing in the blood of your enemies is your body hair is a light magenta for like the next 3 or 4 days. Ugh.
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@jus4golf: Last night I got so drunk I spent an hour apologizing to a tree for saying it's bark was worse than it's bite.
@River_Niles: A white American told me I shouldn't call myself "British" because brown people aren't native to Britain. A white American White. American.
@chuuew: [forest] ME: Gotta be quiet if we're gonna catch Bigfoot FRIEND: We want Bigfoot not Bigear! ME: Haha BIGEAR: [sobs quietly in the distance]