@nishadtrivedi: What they're actually saying is "I can't even [finish this sentence due to the complexities of being a white girl on the existential level]"
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@JoParkerBear: *phone rings 15: I hope it's him! *phone rings 25: hope it's about the job *phone rings 35: (handing phone to stranger) i died. tell them
@12spoopy11u: Sally sells seashells by the seashore. Her monopoly has left the seashore economy in shambles. 86% of hermit crabs are now homeless.
@weinerdog4life: I've been putting my sunglasses on and walking away from things in slow motion all day, nothing has exploded yet.