@simoncholland: What was the deal with that dude wearing a tie and an apron at brunch? He kept writing down everything we said, he gave me the crepes.
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@angibangie: *Passing the same coworker in the hallway more than once: Don't look at me, I already said "Hi" to you.
@bingowings14: Jesus: Listen guys, why has someone written 'nail appointment' in my diary? Judas: No idea, J. No idea.
@ANNIEwayyyy: "Sorry, I forgot to pay attention. But yeah, I have no idea where we are now. There definitely shouldn't be cows." ~me giving directions
@WilliamAder: Scientists are attempting to clone Ice Age Cave Lions because running into a raccoon when I take out the trash isn't scary enough.