@kashanacauley: What we've learned from this skittles incident is that we should all stop eating refugees.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: I refuse to watch shows like "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?" because I already know I'm not.
@zachreinert03: In Texas you're allowed to shoot someone just for being on your property. Man if I lived there I'd host sooo many parties
@GreenishDuck: When people start praying before a meal, I close my eyes and imagine how far I could throw a potato if I really put my heart into it.
@TheToddWilliams: [creation] GOD: So how do you like the flying? PENGUIN: Meh it's no big deal GOD: Oh is that right