@TheTweetOfGod: What would Jesus do? Today, take Mary out to Olive Garden.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: Everyone romanticizes the past until they get horribly sick and wake up covered in leeches.
@GrantTanaka: this idiot cop is still behind me w/ his siren on, I keep moving out of the way & waving & yelling "GO AROUND," man is he stupid
@Lindzeta: I hope the guy who just cut me off in traffic has his fav book made into a movie & the characters are nothing like he imagined them
@jon_albo: Age is just a number? I stole $100 from your wallet and replaced it with a $5. Don't worry, they're just numbers.