@TheTweetOfGod: What would Jesus do? Today, take Mary out to Olive Garden.
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@CM2BTTHD: I just saw my 25-year-old son run water on a slice of pizza to cool it off. I need to sit down.
@pauldame: Man: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you did not know." Man: "Then why did you tell me?"
@WilliamAder: Good Cop: If you confess now, you'll probably just get probation. Fad Cop: Hey Macarena!