@TheTweetOfGod: What would Jesus do? Today, take Mary out to Olive Garden.
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@markleggett: I just whispered "Come at me, bro" to a bug and it ran towards me, so now I'm in my car driving away from my old life.
@cm_rutvik: Jeff: i'm pro gun. Me: i'm anti gun. Greg: i'm vegan. Me: i'm pro gun, now. Jeff, give me your gun.
@hippieswordfish: WANTED: ladder. must be in working condition. bring it by 5134 parker st, it's the big yellow house with a guy on the roof