@TheTweetOfGod: What would Jesus do? Today, take Mary out to Olive Garden.
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@topaz_kell: Safety Tip: Always have a loaded water gun ready to go in case of a home invasion by a cat burglar.
@TheAlexNevil: Newton taught us that a body at rest will remain at rest, a body in motion will remain in motion, and that figs taste good in cookies.
@iwearaonesie: me wife me wife me: I didn't know it was for you wife [covered in soda because I shook the can up when my kid asked for one]