Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

@SirEviscerate: "What would you say is your greatest weakness?"
Probably my tendency to stalk and murder people who won't hire me.

“What would you say is your greatest weakness?” Probably my tendency to stalk and murder people who won’t hire me.
1 comments

COMMENTS

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE

@Shot_Of_Cabo: She: In the future, can you please put the seat down? Me: Now I gotta be a time traveler for you?

1

@SaddestTiger: sometimes i call watermelons summer pumpkins and nobody ever knows what im talking about.

1886

@briangaar: FOUR STAGES OF LOSING MY KEYS 1. Can't find keys 2. Accuse everyone around me of taking my keys 3. Find keys 4. Apologize for key witchhunt

1

@envydatropic: I'm at the age where "pop, lock, and drop" is about my knee giving out instead of dance moves

1

@SteveKoehler22: My Grandma's church was odd in that they worshipped paintings. Very weird. Every week they would stand up and sing "How Great Thou Art"

100
↑