@Shot_Of_Cabo: She: In the future, can you please put the seat down?
Me: Now I gotta be a time traveler for you?
@SaddestTiger: sometimes i call watermelons summer pumpkins and nobody ever knows what im talking about.
@briangaar: FOUR STAGES OF LOSING MY KEYS
1. Can't find keys
2. Accuse everyone around me of taking my keys
3. Find keys
4. Apologize for key witchhunt
@envydatropic: I'm at the age where "pop, lock, and drop" is about my knee giving out instead of dance moves
@SteveKoehler22: My Grandma's church was odd
in that they worshipped paintings.
Very weird.
Every week they would stand up
and sing "How Great Thou Art"
COMMENTS