@BlairLoudly: Whatever Mom, IF THAT'S EVEN YOUR REAL NAME!!!
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@jordangerous: Facebook: My little man is the best thing that's ever happened to me! Twitter: Free baby. DM for details.
@Dis0beyJay: [at wedding] Is there any reason why these two shouldn't be wed? * me yelling * SHE THINKS WOLVERINE COULD BEAT PREDATOR *pianist vomits*
@librarianfonz: An idea only achieves transcendence after it is: 1. Published as book 2. Made into a feature film 3. Turned into an amusement park ride
@kaytaa: Just saw a homeless dude with a sign reading "Hungry Hungry Hobo". I shouldn't laugh right?