@Raahael: "Whatever you do in bed, Sealy supports it". Clearly whoever came up with that ad doesn't watch CSI.
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@BonaFideIntent: Have you ever met a person, & knew straight away that they were 'the one'? Yah. I had to take a restraining order out too.
@SortaBad: Why I don't get dates: Her: It's been light-years since I've had this much fun Me: Actually, a light-year is a unit of distance, not time
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Netflix: Are you still watching? Me: Yes. Netflix: How long has it been since you showered?
@BlairLoudly: One time I threw my cat at a spider so I could escape, but sure I'd love to hold your baby