@Raahael: "Whatever you do in bed, Sealy supports it". Clearly whoever came up with that ad doesn't watch CSI.
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@koalaslament: Coworker said 'nice pink shirt, when did you come out?' I said 'IT'S NOT PINK IT'S SALMON!'. Then I snapped my fingers and skipped away.
@markleggett: Congratulations on being the kind of person who corrects the grammar of others, unsolicited. You're the Microsoft Word Paperclip.
@naazihah: Cop: *looks at license* Says here you need glasses. Me: I have contacts. Cop: I don't care who you know, you're not getting out of this one.