@KevinFarzad: What's being in love feel like? You know when someone cancels plans you wanted to cancel anyway? Almost as good as that.
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@sirmunchie: For Valentine's Day my GF upped my life insurance policy. Unrelated, anyone know why there's a ticking sound coming from underneath my car?
@UberFacts: A mentally ill man shot himself in the head as a suicide attempt. The bullet cured his disorder and he became a straight-A college student.
@thejessbess: I'm rubber. You're glue. I don't conduct low voltage electricity. You're great for arts & crafts.