@KevinFarzad: What's being in love feel like? You know when someone cancels plans you wanted to cancel anyway? Almost as good as that.
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@paperphotoyo: My neighbor can't understand why he just found human shit on his front porch. I can't understand why he would use a power saw at 5:48 am.
@AndyAsAdjective: *pauses Airwolf on the VCR* *sets wine cooler down on the coffee table* *turns to her* ME: what do you mean this isn't working out?
@vanluvz1: I love the gym this time of year. The newbies make me look like a Victoria Secret model.