@ericarhodes: "What's it like being a female comic?" "Well, you get asked what it's like being a female comic a lot."
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@FaisalAdam_: Asked a girl what I had to do to get her, she said, "GET LOST!" So I stared... Realising she wasn't saying more, I asked, "which season?"
@SteveSuckington: "I'll take movies for $500 Alex" Tim Burton directed this dark tale starring Johnny Depp & Helena Bonham Carter "You gotta be kidding me"
@trojansauce: KID: are you sure this will work? ME: *holding a fishing rod with a peppermint attached* do you want a new grandpa or not?
@iGreenMonk: Go to work tomorrow with a new attitude. Be positive! Communicate! Hide when real work comes!