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@Cali_Kid_Mike: "What's math?"
- people who give 110%
@kevinrowe1: Why does my shampoo smell like gasoline? And when did my wife start smoking?
@rickolantern: The worst is when you're on a cruise ship that turns into an Autobot to fight a sea monster and you had a decent game of shuffleboard going
@shwebby2: British police don't carry guns. So what exactly do they do then?
Yell "STOP... OR I'LL SAY STOP AGAIN!"
@Cheeseboy22: Just started a new diet where I order Wendy's salad and then eat all my kids' fries.
@MDthrice: *on date*
Me [don't let her know you're married]
I have a wif..i hotspot on my phone.
Her: oh that's cool.
Me: yeah my wife got it for me.