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@Cali_Kid_Mike: What's the downside of house arrest?
@Cheeseboy22: My driver's license says I'm an organ donor but jokes on them because I have a piano.
@AbbyHasIssues: "Well-behaved women seldom make history," I whisper as I don't wait the full ten minutes for the oven to preheat.
@nicfit75: Pugs. Because you can't own E.T.
@timdonakowski: Want proof advertising works?
I just bought a Goodyear blimp.
@thebeckyard: Accidentally used 13's shower gel, so I just copped a huge attitude, yelled at everyone and slammed some doors.