@Cali_Kid_Mike: What's the downside of house arrest?
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@Reverend_Scott: "HULK WANT LOAN." Bank: "We can't loan to people like you." "GREEN SKIN PEOPLE??" Bank: "No, people who owe 2.6M in property damage."
@stephenjmolloy: Brain: Too much to think about to sleep. Me: But I have work tomorrow. Brain: I don't care- *alarm goes off* -okay you can sleep.
@Black__Elvis: I was in an Arby's bathroom taking a leak and the urinal cake fell to the floor but it was there for less than 5 seconds so I still ate it.
@MandiAtRandom: Girls storing chips in their bras...pfft amateurs. I've got spaghetti and half a taco from this afternoon in there