@weinerdog4life: What's the normal amount of hair to mail someone? I feel like this is a lot of hair I'm mailing to someone
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@jwoodham: Just heard a dad threaten to spank his screaming son "in front of the world." Stand your ground, kid. There's no way he has that technology.
@BeCoco77: True Story: A guy at the supermarket walked up to me today and asked me if I was on twitter. I said no. If you're reading this, I lied.