@WilliamAder: What's the point of making people like Paul McCartney and Elton John knights if they're not going to joust?
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@ItsAndyRyan: "Is this InkJet any good?" "Sure – we've sold it to royalty" "Princesses?" "Mate, it prints ALL the letters"
@decentbirthday: [Battleship: Guilt Edition] Friend: B6 Me: You sunk my Battleship Friend: Hah yes! Me: But 70 people were on the ship. They had children
@AtticusFinch79: [date] Me: Wanna watch Star Wars? Him: No interest, before my time. Me *pretending to choke him with my mind* Him: What're you doing?