@SteveSuckington: What's the smallest amount of money you would reach into a toilet to get? Mine is a skittle.
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@robdelaney: Peter Jackson just found a postcard JRR Tolkien wrote his nephew in 1938. He's turning it into 22 nine-hour films.
@LimeyTheGreat: Panty-less waxed woman hanging off a bridge "I'm gonna jump into that canoe". Me: "No that's your reflection".
@PencilWalrus: A flamingo in the streets and a lion in the sheets and a kangaroo at Target and I think Carl forgot to lock up the zoo last night.
@FatBottomGirl1: We've secretly replaced the G with a K on this bottle of Jergens. Let's see if he notices.