@biorhythmist: "What's up?" asked the guy with literally no sense of direction.
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@MikeZakarian: Anxiety = waiting to see if the middle seat will stay unoccupied as people are boarding your flight.
@SortaBad: "I'm excited for the continental breakfast" *sees a buffet just full of ice cubes* "What the..." Sign: Today's Continent is Antartica
@msbtx: Coworker: I like working with you. I feel like I can really talk to you Me: I'm sorry I gave you that impression. That's not correct
@FloodyHippie: I support Greenpeace because I care about environmental activism, just not enough to do any of the real work myself.