@biorhythmist: "What's up?" asked the guy with literally no sense of direction.
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@AndyAsAdjective: Judging by this sunburn, I'd say the sunscreen I lathered on earlier was SPF goddamn liar.
@GrantTanaka: wife & I just overheard the kids talking about how they'll decorate the house after we die, so I guess we're sleeping in shifts from now on