@SlickestOfRicks: What's up, girl? Do you like bad boys [kicks rug] or good guys [fixes rug]?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ghostkrogh: Me (getting choked): who called it getting new tires Guy (who is choking me): how are you breathing Me (dying): and not a retirement plan
@WKirkMarshall: (meeting for naming cereal) "List the ingredients; maybe we'll get inspired." "Honey, bunches of oats–" "I think we're done here."
@shutupmay: she died as she lived: screaming "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HAVE ANY OF YOUR SCREENWRITERS EVER MET A HUMAN WOMAN?????" at her computer screen
@KentWGraham: A woman saying "I'm not mad at you" is like a dentist saying "You won’t feel a thing."