@SlickestOfRicks: What's up, girl? Do you like bad boys [kicks rug] or good guys [fixes rug]?
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@CourtneyBale: Me: So excited for the weekend! Predatory alien in disguise: Same here! Sooo easy to catch, right M: Huh P: The weakened M: What P: What
@peachesanscream: You've seen nothing until you've seen a picture of a pigeon having a job interview to become a pigeon:
@SteveSuckington: [apocalypse] Day 5: sickness is spreading rapidly Day 34: the streets are filled w death. There's no joy left in the world Day 69: LOL 69
@dave_cactus: ME: Sorry I'm late, I had computer problems. BOSS: Hard drive? ME: Nah, there was no traffic, just the computer problems.