@SlickestOfRicks: What's up, girl? Do you like bad boys [kicks rug] or good guys [fixes rug]?
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@Prero22: A cheetah stalking its prey would be jealous of the way I pounce on the Skip Ad button on YT once the 5 seconds are up.
@Kyle_Lippert: Robin Thicke is what would happen if a roofie became a human and decided to make music.
@CrazyExhaustion: 5yo: What's a cannibal? Me: A person that eats another person. 5yo's eyes widen in horror. Me: You said cannonball, didn't ya?
@ElizaBayne: Ashley Madison website is having problems. But instead of addressing them directly, it'll just look for a younger hotter website on the side