@3sunzzz: WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THE SILENT TREATMENT?!
~me, drunk, at a wax museum
@ScottLinnen: Cats are just fuzzy plants that hate you.
@OfficeofSteve: Moving is a lot more fun when you make the Movers carry you on top of the mattress like an Egyptian pharaoh
@lecalabara: Sober me will always have your back.Drunk me will convince you to get a tattoo of a unicorn doing a dolphin over a rainbow on your back.
@Parkerlawyer: *buys almond milk*
"I'm gonna get healthy!"
*drinks almond milk*
"This is gross."
*pours Hershey's chocolate syrup in milk*
@abi4205: *during an argument
**command Z, command Z
Well damn, that didn't work