@3sunzzz: WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THE SILENT TREATMENT?!
~me, drunk, at a wax museum
@_mindflakes: Did you know that ants are free? You can just take one!
@ThisOneSayz: Me: I've had this for 3 weeks & I'm still single!
HomeDepot Clerk: ma'am, a stud finder is for the beams in your wall
Me: that was unclear
"Hey what happened to the new guy?"
-He tried to have sex with
the dolphin in tank 6
"But there's a shark in tan.."
@Ilovelamp1979: One of the worst things about tweeting while driving is all of the people that seem to appear out of nowhere on the sidewalk.