@3sunzzz: WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THE SILENT TREATMENT?!
~me, drunk, at a wax museum
@donni: The fact that we don't use towels to dry towels makes me question the value of towels.
@snatch_stache: Just hit a white kid with dreadlocks with my car. He understood why.
@KamaroPayne: Do you ever take a bunch of pills, forget that you took a bunch of pills, take a bunch more pills, and then die? I know. Me TOO.
@FroggyGonnaJump: She might be Satan, but if I'm going to hell, I want to be sleeping with the boss.
@jazmasta: [first day as a doctor]
You seem depressed. Also you look underweight, how's your diet?
[nurse interrupts me]
"Dr that's the model skeleton"