@primawesome: What's with these people who take a sip of their coffee as soon as they get it? Who are these iron-mouthed warriors?
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@shutupmikeginn: I lied and told someone, "I can't go to your party I have diarrhea." I actually do have diarrhea but historically that hasn't stopped me
@EJGomez: me: grandma u cant believe every article on facebook also me:[reads thread on twitter] ok avril lavigne has definitely been dead since 2003
@CheetoBandito77: *turns on shower* *gets undressed* *checks TL real quick* *floods the entire neighborhood*
@chagger73: My ex told me I'd never find another woman like her. nnI don't think she was expecting the high 5 and happy dance I did right after.