@_sleepysmile: What's with this 'running with scissors' bullshit? Why would you run with scissors? Are you that excited to cut paper?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@NikiWithIssues: There's a butterfly in my office and a nerf gun in my purse. Susan, clear my schedule.
@pixelatedboat: Kids, if you want to succeed in journalism the way to do it is to suck at your job in a way that's useful to rich people
@leahlovescheez: Why do I have to answer security questions to pay my bills? Ohmygod please tell me there are hackers out there trying to pay my bills....