@TravLeBlanc: What's worse than a chick telling you she only thinks of you as a friend? When she says she thinks of you like a brother.
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@AnOrangeSNES: "Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair!" *A long strand of smelly hair falls out the tower* "Screw this!"
@Lisa_Bizzle: Dating a guy with big hands is the best, at any time I can say "Babe, can you hold these 72 doll heads?" And he can, he can hold them all.
@Prof_Hinkley: [commercial for tupperware] Are you done with that food, but would rather throw it away in 3 weeks rather than right now? - Tupperware