@TravLeBlanc: What's worse than a chick telling you she only thinks of you as a friend? When she says she thinks of you like a brother.
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@amazymay72x: My 12yo son's protip: Buy larger sized clothes and you'll look like you lost weight. You're welcome.
@JediGigi: To avoid another embarrassing moment like when I was stood up on prom night, I always keep at least 1 penguin around.
@Underchilde: Dear Abby, I saw a questionable mole on this girl I like. How do I tell her without letting her know I hid a camera in her shower?