@TravLeBlanc: What's worse than a chick telling you she only thinks of you as a friend? When she says she thinks of you like a brother.
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@dafloydsta: [couples therapy] ME: She thinks I make bad decisions WIFE: He traded our car for a skateboard THERAPIST: *writing notes* This guy rules
@WordUpBitch: The second I feel pressured to do something, I'm out of there faster than a dog who hears his name and knows it's bath time.
@caribdonna: My husband said I was passive aggressive so I punched him in the face and said well, you're half right.
@MythicPicnic: Bought a new exercise program Instructions said to stop if I felt any discomfort So I did