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@alfageeek: 9: My room is clean. Me: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
@chuuew: [planning heist] Me: We'll need the element of surprise. Neil deGrasse Tyson: [appears] Actually, such an element does not exist. Hi, I'm Ne
@handsock_butts: SUBWAY EMPLOYEE: What would you like- ME: I'D LIKE TO CREATE A SHOW ABOUT DOGS COOKING PIZZAS SE: -on your sub? ME: PUPPERONI
@Jesusontwittorr: To all those telling me this account is a sin - Don't worry about it, I plan on forgiving myself later