@mzeld: What's your body type? Mine is "giant gummy bear."
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@darkmatter_wimp: Sure, I can teach you about fractions, kid. Just remember this: There is a very fine line between the numerator and the denominator.
@InternetHippo: BOSS: You ok? ME: Yeah, why? BOSS: You have a sign that says “2 Days Without Being Annoyed” [maintaining eye contact, I change it to 0]
@UncleDuke1969: Wife: You were right. Me: Say it again. Wife: You were right. Me: Again. Wife: You were right. Me: One more time. Wife: You wer- *wakes up*