@Ivsy01: What's your favorite song?-Me, to a baby wearing a Metallica shirt at the grocery store.
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@houffy: Apparently Mr. Neeson's "particular set of skills" is terrible at keeping his family from getting kidnapped.
@PaperWash: Last minute gift idea: Give someone a bucket of water and tell them your sorry their ice sculpture melted
@jologz: I wouldn't want lesbian parents. Not because I'm homophobic. I just don't want to get stuck in an endless loop of "Go ask your mother."
@WonderMonkey78: I love it when all my iPhone apps tremble in fear when I'm about to delete one of them. Makes me feel like God.