@echoVista: "My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met."
@donni: I told the 8 clowns in a tiny cop car to "clown arrest me! Take me to clown jail!" And they did. Bail has been set at 150 banana cream pies.
@badbanana: Walk into a random building, go to a random floor, step into a random meeting, and take a donut. Best donut you'll ever eat.
@ZaynabHashem2: 2017 whatsapp notification:
Linda read your message and texted Morissa and they decided to go to McDonalds without you
@U_Want_Shum_M8: Robber: Give me all your money.Otherwise you are chemistry!
ME: Don't you mean history?
R: Don't change the subject!
*Both start laughing
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