@Skullcat: When a big account that doesn't follow me stars me suddenly, I crouch down and stay still, hoping it will tiptoe up and eat from my hand.
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@philYama: If losing a debate, end a sentence with "see what I did there?". As your opponent tries to figure it out, hit them with closest blunt object
@novicefather: My neighbor and I are really close. We call each other things like bro, man, dude, boss... We don't know each other's name.