@varoon_singh: When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
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@Parentpains: She said she was burning with desire, so I threw a bucket of water at her. Dating is bullshit.
@thatUPSdude: Went to Hollister but nothing fit, plus got lost in there for a week. Came out 30lbs lighter, so went back in to buy a shirt. Well played.
@OVO_Ty15: I'm gonna put a Whoopee Cushion on the front of my car so that if I hit anything it'd atleast be a little funny.