@ShittyComedian: When a black guy pulls a knife on me on the subway I remind him he doesn't have to feed into racial stereotypes. Then I usually get stabbed.
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@iamspacegirl: when there was one set of footprints in the sand, that was when I tripped and fell but Jesus didn't see and he kept walking for a little bit
@sammontgomery: Cashier at McDonalds said "See you later" a little too smugly at breakfast. I did not appreciate her condescension and told her so at lunch.