@TheAlexNevil: When a child gets a bad cold that’s when parents feel completely powerless. You just know that little Petri dish is gonna get you sick too.
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@ArfMeasures: DIRTY HARRY [points gun] Go ahead make my day *I take him to the zoo & then the park, we have ice cream* DH: well this has been wonderful
@joejwest: COP: You seen an escaped evil octopus? ME: No COP: [looks up] Nice chandelier ME: Thanks COP: Why is it wet? ME: Um COP: And holding 8 guns?
@HellRaisingHell: Finally found a job ad that didn't mention 'attention to detail' or 'team player'. Finally!