@bridger_w: When a cop asks if you know why they pulled you over, smile, take their hand in yours and say, "Sounds like somebody needed a friend"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JermHimselfish: As you get older, dirty talk turns into "Yeah baby, take that nap. Take all of it honey. You like that couch? Oh yeah, sleep on it..."
@ambamthankyamam: I saved my husband's life insurance company 1 million dollars by switching to xanax.
@TheMichaelRock: You think 70 degrees yesterday and snow today is funny, Mother Nature? *empties 326 cans of hairspray outside* Knock that shit off!
@jnrbtsn: I don't discriminate among size guys. Personally my favorite is 3 inches and goes by the name visa, mc, or amex.