@bridger_w: When a cop asks if you know why you were pulled over, respond, "I'm actually not allowed to discuss the details of the case"
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@Ms612: 911: What's your emergency? Me: Are you guys hiring? 911: This is an emergency line. Me: No shit. Why do you think I'm calling?
@tricycle_champ: ME: Man, I really should get glasses. I'm blind as a-- BAT NEXT TO ME: blind as a what ME: um BAT: as a what ME: BAT: say it