@DaddyJew: When a cop eats bacon is it considered cannibalism?
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@WritePlay: Anjelica Huston got married to the inventor of autocorrect and now her legal name is Ageless Ice Houseboat.
@KittyShittyy: *deletes fb account* *leaves social media* *goes to Himalayas* *pigeon comes with a note* *opens note* *candy crush request* *dies*
@KevinFarzad: College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times.
@tastefactory: *bumps into an acquaintance in a world where there's no such thing as weather* Uhhhhhhhhhhh