@DaddyJew: When a cop eats bacon is it considered cannibalism?
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@SteveSuckington: [comes home from store] Wife: [shaking her head] Let me guess... earmuffs were on sale? Me: [wearing 17 pairs of earmuffs] WHAT?
@Eightinchgoat: Guide to DIY: 1. Double the cost estimate. 2. Double the time it should take. 3. Live with it for 3 months 4. Hire someone to fix it.
@SortaBad: "Brian did you remove some of the thread from your shirt logo?" Me: [clearly enjoying people calling me the Hug Boss] what? No probably not