@CantWaitToNap: When a cop tells you to "spread 'em" he is not flirting. I know this now.
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@markydoodoo: Marry someone who loves Hawaiian pizza so you can just get your own good tasting pizza all to yourself.
@platinum2000: How do you tell someone that they're not smart enough to manipulate you, without hurting their feelings?
@DonQuickoats: The best way to respond to a limp handshake is to tickle their palm with your middle finger