@SCbchbum: When a couple I’m friends with splits up, I always choose sides with the one who won’t ask to sleep on my couch.
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@aligarchy: DR: you have this disease ME: oh no DR: but you can cure it with a healthy diet and exercise ME: OH NO
@cupcakelynda: Just opened the freezer and the vodka literally rolled out into my hands, no way I could ignore this sign from god.
@LnL245: A kickboxing class where you hit the bag with a baseball bat because I may have mild to moderate anger issues.
@Tbone7219: My favorite part about Black Friday is the part where I go to the mall, find a great parking spot & sit in my car with the reverse lights on