@Papa_Mex: When a coworker pisses me off, I like to write his name down for 23 boxes of girl scout cookies on the form in the break room
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@robdelaney: The name Corey is short for Coriander. Coreys will try & tell you it's not but they are lying.
@GrantTanaka: [son sees me sleeping outside] son: did you call mom the n word again me: but she IS a nagger
@SirEviscerate: Me: I'm having a problem with my computer: IT guy: Have you tried punching it? Me: That's the first thing I tried. I'm not an idiot.