@JonasPolsky: When a dog's stomach starts growling, it's either hungry, or pregnant.
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@weinerdog4life: Me: it's robocop Wife: it's not robocop it's dangerous *a roomba with a gun taped to it is shooting at our cat*
@ArfMeasures: [Drives date home] ME [stops and revs engine sexily] I had a great time tonight DATE: [climbs off my lawnmower] I did not
@oxygenplug: "Yo bro this horse is actin a little weird" "Dude thats my dog get off" "why is ur horse so small" "Its a DOG" Why u pronouncing horse weird
@junejuly12: Hope there is a particularly fiery spot in hell for anyone capable of losing a dog in an enclosed dog park.