@HALFniteStand: When a girl comes over for a date, I make sure I leave a hammer and measuring tape on the counter so she doesn't suspect that I watch Glee
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@mompsychologist: I've never been on Jeopardy, but I have put a 4yo to bed, so I know what it's like to be asked about things you never even heard of.
@AwkwardTwitts: "Wow, you're tall.. Do you play basketball?" "Wow, you're short. Do you play mini golf?"
@outsidemagazine: Yellowstone visitor upset bears didn’t show (Would like park service to train them):