@HALFniteStand: When a girl comes over for a date, I make sure I leave a hammer and measuring tape on the counter so she doesn't suspect that I watch Glee
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@AlexRogaski: Michael Cera forgets to do laundry and has to wear a doctor costume to the hospital. He's too shy to refuse people and performs 3 surgeries.
@amishschool: Thirty days sober folks. Not consecutively, but here and there over the years. I'm estimating.
@bakedbrotatoes: -This is my son Michelangelo. -Oh, like the artist. -Um no like the Ninja Turtle.
@TheCatWhisprer: Just got my Facebook account suspended for reading a full article before I shared it.