@JennyJohnsonHi5: When a guy shaves his head bald and wears a sweatband, the top of his head looks like a stick of roll-on deodorant.
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@Brampersandon_: WIFE: would you chop these onions for me ME: sure WIFE: I meant with a knife ME (tightening the belt on my karate robe): aww man
@HiddleDeeDee: 6 to his brother: Hey man, all I want is some oatmeal and a nap. It's a joy raising an 80 year old man.
@Marlebean: Today, a man looked me right in the face & said "You're not hot!" Actually it was a cop &he said "Here's your ticket. Have a nice evening."
@psychogoddess: How is it when my son has homework,I have to be involved?? Dude,I already did my time.