@JennyJohnsonHi5: When a guy shaves his head bald and wears a sweatband, the top of his head looks like a stick of roll-on deodorant.
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@daniel_shaw: Girls are always taking your hoodies but you take one of their dresses and suddenly they're all like "we need to talk."
@KevinFarzad: Whenever u feel like ur not being productive, take a nap. You'll wake up groggy & angry & have forgotten abt the whole "productivity" thing
@kentgrossarth: Her: 'Do I look, like, fat?' Brain: no,no,no,no Brain: Of course not. Brain: Say SOMETHING Mouth: 'Like a fat what?' Brain: Oh dear God