@careworn: When a guy wearing cargo pants hits on me I'm tempted to go out with him just to see how many of my belongings I can fit into his pockets.
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@just1fool: Last time I went to the doctor he prescribed constipation medicine to clear up my earwax. He was right about me being a shithead apparently.
@0point5twins: I choose toothpaste NOT recommended by dentists… those sneaky tooth-fiddlers have a lot to gain from promoting one that doesn't work.