@pizzajaynow: When a Jehovah Witness dies, Heaven turns off all the lights and pretends no one is home.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@FunnyMojoJojo: I went to bed last night and my brother came out of the closet and scared the shit out of me, I forgot we were playing hide and seek...
@daemonic3: "Dad, can I go to the renaissance festival?" ME: No, you're still grounded "No fair!" ME: Yes, that's what I said
@KickSumHunibuns: [tree falls in forest] [doesnt make a sound] GUY IN CAMOUFLAGE: What the— TREE: oh shit uhh AAHHHH I have fallen and I can’t get up aaahhh
@thatdutchperson: [Person who spends 20 hours per week in the gym] "The trick is to drink 8 glasses of water a day."