@pizzajaynow: When a Jehovah Witness dies, Heaven turns off all the lights and pretends no one is home.
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@SteveSuckington: "U can legally stab someone if u suspect they're a Gary." -no you can't *pulling knife from sheath* "Sounds like somthin a Gary would say"
@FierceMess: Wanna live a long life? Get married. I guarantee you'll change your mind real quick.
@natalayhehoo: If I ever want to hide something from my husband I'd put it in the dishwasher- he'd never look in there