@SarcasticAlly12: When a kid wants to snuggle it means you're about to get warmth in your heart and an elbow to every single one of your other organs.
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@LionJenkins: [First day at New Job] New Boss: When in Rome do as the Romans you know? <Slaughters entire office and imposes grain taxes on peasantry>
@RidiculousSheri: He died doing what he loved, annoying the hell out of me and not believing I would stab him.
@FloodyHippie: A zombie jumped out at me, in a haunted house, but he didn't scare me. He did, however, catch my elbow in his face.