@just_evolved: When a killer makes you dig your own grave, throw the soil far away so he has trouble backfilling.
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@AbbieEvansXO: Murderer: [points a gun at me] Me: Please, I have no spouse or kids, my life is awesome
@psybermonkey: When my Uncle died the obituary said that he 'passed away in the warmth of his own home.' It was a house fire.
@crushingbort: "Mr Bush, do you want my coke?" "Yeah sure" *Bush drinks coke as kid walks away* "Hey kid...catch" *kid turns around to see incoming plane*