@Mimiification: When a man tells me he's looking for a 'real woman' I scurry away because I'm actually three owls in a raincoat AND HE MUSTN'T FIND OUT.
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@JessObsess: I just wish I was rich enough to be able to throw all of the pots and pans away after I cook.
@G_Faylor: I crash my car. Hundreds of pairs of clean underwear instantly spill from my glove box protecting me from harm.
@GregDorris: "Hippos are actually more dangerous than crocodiles and sharks combined." - Moron who clearly hasn't pictured a Crocoshark.
@rockymomax: [before sex] HER: did you bring protection? ME: heck ya I did *slowly reaches into back pocket and pulls out nunchucks*