@RapeyRaperton: When a man tries to hug me hello or goodbye I whisper in his ear "tip to tip" and sigh as we embrace to ensure we never do it again.
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@So504real: Then: Me: I want McDonald's Mom: Do you have McDonald's money? Now: Mom: I want grandkids Me: Do you have grandkids money??
@64spoons: Call me a hoarder if you want but don't come crying to me when you need a 3 foot tall stack of mayonnaise jar labels.
@TragicAllyHere: [Movie theater] *as the previews begin, I pull an entire ice cream cake out of my refrigerated cooler-purse*