@AKcrazy18: When a Nokia phone warns you about low battery, you have at least 1 month to find where the charger is lying in your house.
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@GoldenSpirals: 'Twas the night before Christmas, and everyone knew, you were still out shopping, yes, it sucks to be you.
@iGreenMonk: How girls put on their pants: *Left leg* *Right leg* *Wiggle* *Wiggle* *Jump* *Jump* *Squat* *Stretch* Done..
@briangaar: "Tom Brady did nothing wrong" is Boston's "The Confederate Flag isn't really about slavery."